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How I'm feeling?

I didn't write a post yesterday because I was feeling so sick, lost, confused - you know when you just have serious case of brain fog. I honestly can't remember what I did. I did however spend most of my time trying to be as productive as I could studying. I don't know how that's turning out because my brain is falling apart like a wet cake.
I wanted to write post every day as a goal and to give me something to look forward to, reflect back on and see the progress I'm making so... sorry me for not writing yesterday.
At the moment I feel like all of my emotions have dried up, I'm not enjoying anything - it's like being in a waking coma. I'm sure people can see the lost-sad-blank look in my eyes.
When I spoke to the Chemist about giving up smoke I disclosed how I was feeling about giving up and being well aware that these feelings of emptiness would creep in and he just reassure me that in time they would pass.
Well to be completely honest these feelings were already present and if smoking wasn't making any difference why continue. Over the last 6 months I've been getting rid of a lot of things out of my life not just smokes. Clothes, shoes, books ornaments and other random items - it felt so good just throwing things out aimlessly. I even started offering to help other people with trowing away their things. But as you know how the story goes those feeling of letting go and felling free didn't last long either.
For me it's not about trying to save money or even trying to improve my physical health - or though both of those things will be great and are valid reasons.
For me it's more so about finding me again and once I have found me holding on an not letting go...
This post goes out to @Katiegirl and a big thank you to those special few to whom my post's have reached, it makes me feel a little more connected. Jame

I am sorry that you are feeling so low today Jame. You stated that this feeling started before quitting smoking. I am glad that you let us know that so others don't feed on your negativity. While we are happy to be of help, I imagine most members read to stay engaged and committed to their quits . I know that seeing others succeed was very hopeful for me and the incentive to start S.a.p.
Have you seen a doctor about your concerns? I am glad that you are NOT on Champix or I would have great concern. Champix has been known to create detrimental mood swings.
I envisioned a hunched, old woman sorting through years of hoarding by the way you wrote. How could you accumulate so much at your oge. While I do agree that selecting what is useful and discarding what is not is soul cleansing Simplicity is wonderful. We only think that we have to have something. Much like smoking.
Your chemist is right in saying that this will pass. Meanwhile , your overall health is important too. Your diet, sleep and emotional well being. I image studies are stressful and I hope you have outside interest and affiliations.
A balanced life , a positive attitude and a vision of where you want to go is a great start. Quitting smoking can be easy when you are ready. Are you?
Smoking will not kill you over night. Manufacturers want you hooked but alive.
You are young. Perhaps your studies and financial expectations are as equally important at THIS time.
Read, learn and desire a smoke free future. It is obtainable and worth it .
Wanting to quit is the first step to being ready.
Believing in yourself is second.
You can and you will.

Hi again Jame, first it is great that you are keeping in touch, we do need each other that is for sure, there will be lots of people reading your posts, so with this in mind you might find words that can explain your top reasons for stopping this deadly habit.
Another thought is to try and research at a deeper level other reasons you might not have thought of by viewing "How to grow to be a HAPPY non smoker" presented by NASIA DAVOS.... TEDxUniversityofPiraeus ...it is on u tube, but you need to really be honest with choosing anything that you can relate to, and try to work on that aspect.
The main thing about this research is to try to understand yourself in a different light. Finding that deeper you in there somewhere. Believe me this will help you in other aspects of life in general.
If health or money are not strong reasons to stop smoking, then think of how you feel when you continue with other people around you with some who make you feel as if you didn't belong to the group. When you give up smoking there is no need to hide around the corner, and no need to avert your gaze from another. there is no need to count the minutes before the next smoke, and you can participate in social outings without fear of being judged. You will be able to choose who you hang around with instead of the opposite.
Start now, with your research intact and your strategies waiting to be used, a strong belief in yourself is a must, and we are all here to help you. NOPE (not one puff ever)