Don't smoke marijuana

March 14, 2021 | 13:50

I'm so glad to have found this group.

I've quit many times before -- sometimes for several years at a time. My ex-husband and I took a very expensive "stop smoking" course through the Rand Corporation 45 years ago before my daughter was born. They told us about the triggers -- no coffee or alcohol and to this day I don't really drink alcohol (not my drug of choice -- but that's another story). The Rand Corporation suggested we put an elastic band around our wrist and snap it whenever we had a craving. There were weekly follow-ups and monthly follow-ups for about four months.

My ex-husband has never touched a cigarette since; however, about six years after my daughter was born, I smoked pot for the first time in my life. I don't how many of you started smoking cigarettes after you started smoking pot, but the craving for cigarettes after that first toke of pot was unbearable. I went out and bought a pack, but fortunately then I just smoked occasionally -- on holidays and then an occasional weekend. For me this time I started after a five year hiatus of non-smoking when I came back from walking our boxer dog.

I passed a neighbor who had just moved in about two blocks from my home. She was outside sitting smoking: we said hi, and her cigarette smelled so good I asked her for one. Then I asked her if she had any other smokeables: and you guessed it -- she had pot! I had just gone off 120 mgs. of Prozac a day because of enormous weight gain. Needless to say I substituted the pot for prozac daily. I sucked in so much pot daily my nickname became Hoover.

When I smoke pot, I become a chain smoker -- which is what I was in my youth. Between the two of us, my ex-husband and I smoked 4 packs of cigarettes day. The last four years have been pretty much a pot and cigarette indulgence to offset the effects of publisher rejections, film rejections, graduate school rejections and boredom. I'm retired now -- have been for about 10 years so I don't have any employment responsibilities.

I hide my habit from my daughter and grandsons -- whom I see once or twice a week -- through frequent showers, toothbrushing and numerous changes of clothes. The truth is living a secretive life (something I've done now for nearly seven decades) is becoming wearying as I approach mid-seventies this summer. I want to become healthy again, and when I smoke -- I reach for a cigarette instead of going for a walk.

Tomorrow I'm going for a walk before I reach for my coffee and that damned cigarette. I've been looking for an online support group that allows you read to up to date experiences without giving credit card numbers, your cell phone number and health card information. I've enjoyed reading many of your experiences and look forward to learning more about all of you.

I've been a week without smoking pot -- not missing it, but I can only quit one drug at a time. The cigarette consumption has dropped from half a pack a day to five cigarettes. Tomorrow just two. And then quitting day. Thank you all for your support.