7 days in

I have been excited to write 7 days on this forum. I have been here many times before, what always gets me back onto cigarettes is that I don’t have cravings necessarily but reward thinking. Thanks to all of your stories, I have some real treasures in my belt now to stop that, for instance someone wrote of week three being hard and month three. Well, I have felt that in the past as well, but this time NOPE! I may not be there yet, but when I mow the lawn and think “goodness, it has been three months, have a beer and smoke, you deserve it, start again tomorrow, you find it so easy”, oh no, I’m not playing that none-sense this time. It truly is my mindset, I just no, I cannot start again, it is always one, that leads to tonnes, and I take such a long time to get back on the wagon. Then EVERYTHING suffers, and mainly me, which is disgusting self sabotage. For what? Poor health, bad breath, and stinking like an ashtray for my kids.

I have also been visualising my better self in a years time, my kids, my health, my money, even my clothing (odd). I visualise my outdoor space for my kids, how beautiful it looks. It really motivates me.

A heavy smoker friend came around the other day and the smell, oh it was intoxicating, I have a big open kitchen but I couldn’t escape it; and I actually had to work hard not to want to be sick, then came the shame and guilt for my children. This is something I have to manage, because feelings of regret can get my head into a very low position which isn’t useful. The past is the past, can’t change it, forgive yourself and do better now.

Anyway, I feel proud, I am so glad I found this forum and the “smoke free” app which speaks about the health benefits.

I no I have to be super careful, because one of my serious triggers is complacency. Because I don’t struggle so much with any cravings, I think I can reward myself, and tips are most welcome obviously NOPE is my motto.

Thanks again.