Identity
Hi all,
just checking in...
Its day 3 and I'm starting to struggle with my new ME. Who am I? Do I really want to give up smoking? If I do give up smoking what will 'me' look like?
I've smoked about half a packet a day for 25 years. My partner still smokes. I've said to him that I would like him to quit because I care about his health and future, but its his journey and his decision (as only an addict can take control of their addiction - no one else). He gets it - no pressure from me...
He is really supportive of my quit journey and tries really hard to shield me from his smoking - I love him for this :)
But my struggles today are within - the who am I? For 25 years I've been a smoker. I've had my triggers and reacted accordingly. I'm coping fairly well with the cravings as I actually do want to give up. My mind is strong to the cravings. But who am I now? who will I become? This makes me a little sad as I have to get to know a new person and who she is and what she's about...
I know this is completely not rational thinking for a woman my age but I use this site/blog to voice myself, what I'm thinking and what I'm going through because I know you all get it. Thanks for listening....
This blog entry and the way your mind works is really interesting! I think you know deep down if you really want to stop smoking or not .. and stopping and starting is not failure, it is all part of your journey.
Quitting smoking won't change you forever, there are stages and everyone is different as we all know ... however the long term changes are:
- You no longer smoke
- When you're out you don't "have" to go out side .. you will go out side to enjoy the sunshine or literally get some fresh air lol
I honestly feel quitting smoking doesn't change us in a bad way, it just means we will be healthier.
By the way, this is rational thinking when you are quitting smoking. You might wake up tomorrow and feel 100% fine with it.
Keep blogging though please :o)
You will love the "New You" more every day that you dont smoke. Strengthening your will power and taking control of your own life only makes you a stronger, healthier person. (You will smell great too!) It is not an easy thing to do! Its nice your partner is supportive... This site will be great to use as a tool.... We are/have been struggling with all the same issues you may be and will be feeling! Stay strong keep posting!
Hi Identity, look I will be straight with you . Ok, you smoked for 25 yrs (i smoked for 50yrs before calling it quits) Yo need to be 100 per cent committed and have serious reasons to quit smoking.........it is not a game of stop and go. If you ARE serious then buy nrt lozenges, the first fortnight is the most difficult, and even though your partner is supportive you must ask him to refrain from smoking in your presence. On this site we are all here for commitment and to genuinely support each other. But, each person needs to pull his/her weight. Good Luck.
Hi Johnnie,
I fear you may have misinterpreted my post... I am genuinely committed to giving up. I'm on the patches and buckets loads of water :) and I am moving through day 3 with very few dramas - my cravings are even getting less severe. I have genuine health reasons for quitting and my conviction is strong. No stop and go here. I failed at my attempt in 2012 but I will not fail this time.
My post was more about finding my new identity - trying to relate to myself as a non-smoker now. Its all very new and very scary...
Hi Crasher, may have been a little misinterpretation, but the point i wanted to make is that it is how we feel when giving up smoking. I for one felt i lost my best friend and i am gradually learning to go forward with that loss. So, do not be scared but be strong and in time i hope God willing that we will all be proud of our achievements. I did not mean to get off on the wrong foot with you. Please keep posting. Cheers.
I understand your fear, it changes your entire life but as humans we do often fear the unknown and change. It is not as scary as you imagine and there are some great benefits as well. Its soooo good to go our for dinner and not find the closest smoking area and not having to freeze your buns off whilst everyone else is warm inside. Oh and you can take a smaller handbag, I'm really liking that! What I am saying is that you do adjust and you make new routines and its beats walking around wheeling an oxygen bottle in 20 years time.....
Hey Crasher. Firstly, well done for stopping. It makes you amazing in my eyes. Secondly, take one day at a time. The fear of who you will become is driven by the nicodemon. It sounds crazy but this thing can be crippling and wants you to be dependant on it. You have made the decision to quit and you have been a non-smoker now for 5 days and you have done that even with your partner smoking next to you. I was the same, I stopped and my partner was still smoking. I found moving his smoke packets to under his wallet made stopping easier, as long as I couldn't see them I wasn't tempted, despite knowing they were there. Maybe try that, it can't hurt and he will understand. I have stopped nearly 4 months now and my partner only stopped 4 weeks ago. I didn't nag him, he just decided on his own that it was the right time to stop, yours will too.
So, back to who YOU are going to be. Why do you think your personality will change? Your attitude towards smokers will change, of course, but nothing else in your character will change. We will have clearer, healthier skin, your clothes and hair will smell of soap and your lungs will begin their epic journey of repair. You will spend more time with people because you won't be nipping outside for a smoke and perhaps you will get to know your family and friends a little better. There really is nothing to fear except fear itself. You can do this, flower, in fact you ARE doing it. Do you realise just how brilliant you are? Probably not yet but you will any day now. Keep posting, stay positive and take each day at a time. Hugs.