1st day in
So I'm first day in...
I went to buy a pack of smokes on my lunch break at work and I just didn't want to anymore. I didn't, after 10 years, want to keep doing this to myself. I have been getting so upset with myself that I'm not stronger then an addiction, because I feel like I am...
So instead of buying smokes, I bought patches.
And as strong as I want to be about quitting, I'm actually hurting. It's so uncomfortable to be in my own skin and it's so so hard.
It's something I rely so heavily on all the time and I love it. I really love it.
But I don't want to die. I don't want to leave my son without his mum. And I don't want him to grow up and make the same choices that I have and for me to watch him suffer this way.
With all the above good reasons why I don't and can't do this anymore, it doesn't take the actual pain I am feeling away.
I can't sleep and after only really half a day of not smoking, nothing in life seems good.
I've read alot of comments from everyone and I know you have, at some point felt this way too. I wish that helped more.
I know it will get easier, I really want to be at there now.
I'm freaking out about trying to fall asleep. Because I know it probably won't happen and that's worries me that I'll start to lose it when I'm tossing and turning.
Such a rant, but I feel like I just needed to write it out. To occupy my mind for as long as possible with my story. Because what will I do once I stop typing
Hi There,
Good to know that there is someone out there with the same opinion. Its my second smoke free day and no doubt its not easy but the good thing is it fades away gradually. We should be looking at a week, once we pass one week, it will get a lot easier. Just don't give up. I have been smoking for the past 16 years and i have two kids and i really don't feel like leaving them just like that.
I am using gums instead of patches which are effective and am sure patches are too. I also assure you that one a week has passed you will start feeling good about it, you will feel healthier and happier.
In day light i really don't feel the craving but its the night that really pisses me off. So the best thing is that i try to sleep as early as possible to avoid that situation.
Anyways lets see how it goes and best of luck from my end. Also to let you know that you are not alone here,feel free to share your feelings as we understand our situation :)
Hi both. I wish I had a magic wand for you both but sadly I don't. I know how you're both feeling, I have been there and am now 4 weeks smoke free. Certainly the first 2 days were a trial but as one of the chaps on here as said previously - the drama you are going through will make it feel so much sweeter when you're through it and you will feel all the more proud of yourselves (IC). Your positive attitude is the most important thing at this stage and going forward. Stay busy during the day, have lists of things you want to accomplish from vacuuming to painting a room. During the night, I'm afraid I slept quite well, it was when I awoke that I found it tricky, so I searched this site for new messages when I would normally be smoking and made comment or asked questions. Have some sugar-free gum to hand and have tricks up your sleeve to distract yourself. You are both amazing to have stopped. There is no physical pain, there are only benefits to stopping and you know all this otherwise you wouldn't be on this site. Stay positive, stay busy and stay stopped. Keep posting too :) Thinking of you both and cheering you on from the UK.
Hi white. Thank you for sharing your experience, it really adds up to one's willpower. Today is my third day without a smoke. I am having no problem in the morning as am quite busy with office work. The only thing that would bother me is a colleague asking to have a smoke together but that wont be a problem anymore as i have got a new job and i'll be starting from next week. This is the best time for me to continue and keep on going with the flow. I am thinking that its now or never and am already feeling good about it.
For nights, i have dont a couple of arrangements, like watching seasons - game of thrones, Euro Cup 2016 - My mates have made their own fantasy teams and i have made one for myself, its all points based. So you always have to be uptodate regarding matches that are being played etc etc. So it keeps me busy and i am sleeping early as well. I think that if i keep on doing like that for a week, i'll get rid of it completely.
I am on my 4th day Smoke free, the cravings were so bad yesterday & almost as bad today, I just keep saying in my mind "I'm a Non Smoker" it seems to help. I am on Champix, started them on Sunday 6th June & the instructions were to smoke for the first week, I can honestly say that 1 pkt of cigs lasted the whole week when usually I smoke a pack a day, then Monday June 13th was the day I threw all cigs away. It's so hard but at the same time it's rewarding. I do find I am very forgetful at times & when the cravings are bad it feels like my lips are tingling. I wish everyone the best of luck & know that we can kick those dreadful cigarettes to the Kerb.
Wow thank you both so much... It's so nice to have that extra support..
And to have somewhere to vent when I'm feeling the worst...
I ended up getting a pretty good sleep, crazy dreams because if the patches. But at least got some sleep.
I think if you just get past the yucky feeling that doesn't actually last that long, things seem okay again. This morning was tricky in the car to work, and my coffee tastes somehow not as satisfying...
But all in all I'm doing okay, and already starting to think about all the amazing things I can't start saving for :)
Thanks so much for your comments... It really helps so much
its always good to have people that are in the same situation as yourself, they know what you are going through. Today is my third day and my craving is getting a bit worse, normally i don't feel that much in the morning but it is tough today so i am writing to get over it :)....The craving is right between your chest, chest feels heavier but that's the fight i need to win :)
Oh no harder on day three :(
You can do it though... We really can do it...
Life is so much better without it... Have you been getting any little rewards for yourself? I find that helps so much... Just a little good on you gift!
I bought some knitting today. Not that I know what I'm doing but I thought picking up a habit that I don't associate with smoking might help....
Yes you are right, we need to pick up things that are not associated with smoking coz everything else is. I am thinking of going to gym, i have heard from a couple of friends that it really helps as you need results after quitting and you can also release your frustration.
I just had a lot of pizza and here i am just typing to divert my attention. So many things that are associated with smoking. Don't know how will i enjoy anything without it :(, the only thing that keeps me going is that i don't wanna do this again.
I am told that things start to feel good again... That you don't feel empty when your doing the things you used to love...and it just takes time...
I hope so!
Don't give in though... The longer you go the easier it is and you won't have to go through this again like you said.
I just keep thinking of my little boy and that I don't want him to grow up thinking its okay...or thinking I am weak. That his mum isn't strong enough to overcome this.
Because we really can... And we will :)
Hey guys, I'm going to jump in here and tell you how brilliantly you're doing. The days DO get easier, it will depend on each person and your mindset. The shift of how you look at quitting is a lot to do with that. For instance, if you tell people you're "giving up" the cigs then psychologically you are telling them you didn't really want to, whereas if you say "stopping" it's far more positive and it tells you and the nicodemon you're in charge of you and the situation. I know it sounds crazy but honestly it works. You may feel a little lost for a few days, just make sure you stay busy, especially when you're on your own. This is a perfectly normal reaction to stopping, we have all felt that emotion but it's not there for too long and you will feel free, happy and in control. Remember you control it, it does not control you. Good luck, you are remarkable.
the smoking is just a symptom of what's underneath it , and believe me it hasn't been a big ball of fun for me been one of the hardest things I have done.
79 days some good, some total crap and all sorts in-between, I have seen other addictions surface and my blood pressure rise literally to the point of Dr and med's/
not a happy camper really and if I thought a smoke would fix it I would be smoking one right now, but through all the madness I cant see a smoke fixing any of it.
so I have some work to do.
I say all this so you know your not alone and sometimes life is just life and changes need to be made.
wish you well and smoking doesn't make it better ever !!
IC
I just want to let you all know that you guys are brilliant. Today i'll be heading out for dinner with my colleagues, they are throwing me a farewell as its my last working day at this company. Some of them smoke, so any suggestions how to go about it?
Should i let them know that i have quitted as they don't know about it...
I really think you should tell them...
But I think what I would do is make sure I change the habit of what I would do when I go out to smoke. Like after dinner when you really feel like it have a goal before hand like grab a coffee or tea, dessert etc. Engage in convo with someone at the table that doesn't smoke... Just try and distract yourself as much as possible. Know that those points will be the hardest and mentally prepare for that.... And just remember even just having one will take you back to day one and you have come so so far already... And besides your my non smoking buddy so you have to stay strong for me too haha!
Maybe write something on here too if it gets really tricky?
You are absolutely right. Even a single drag would take me back to square one and believe me i don't want to look back now.
I must tell you that you are an awesome buddy and don't worry i wont let you down :). Today i am feeling a lot better, my craving has reduced and doing conversations with non-smokers. Also its my farewell today so getting a lot of attention haha.
I will let you know how did it go :)
I made u all proud, we had dinner and guess what they smoked and i didnt, oh that was a wonderful feeling, i was in control. I did really good although i had a feeling that i wont b able to resist but i did and its all becoz of u ppl, u guys r awesome :)
At the back of my head i knew that if i don't smoke a whole cigarette i will have a few drags for sure, but it was quite surprising for me that i literally didn't feel even for a single time that i need to have a drag. It was quite easy, not as i thought it would be.
On my way back i was so happy that i grabbed a cup of coffee and felt really good about it. Now i am even more determined and confident that i can do it and believe me if i can do it then anyone can do so its good news for everyone :)
At the back of my head i knew that if i don't smoke a whole cigarette i will have a few drags for sure, but it was quite surprising for me that i literally didn't feel even for a single time that i need to have a drag. It was quite easy, not as i thought it would be.
On my way back i was so happy that i grabbed a cup of coffee and felt really good about it. Now i am even more determined and confident that i can do it and believe me if i can do it then anyone can do so its good news for everyone :)
I'm so glad to hear dinner was okay... That's the hardest... I'm still scared to go and do things because I don't want to freak out...
I feel like its getting easier to manage.. However I get so snappy really easy, which I don't like... I'm usually pretty patient.. And I find myself getting really cranky over the smallest things...
I think maybe it's just another part of giving up which I have to be mindful of and find a way to manage... Because it's not fair to impact others because I'm feeling a certain way... Hope your still hanging in there over the weekend
I'm so glad to hear dinner was okay... That's the hardest... I'm still scared to go and do things because I don't want to freak out...
I feel like its getting easier to manage.. However I get so snappy really easy, which I don't like... I'm usually pretty patient.. And I find myself getting really cranky over the smallest things...
I think maybe it's just another part of giving up which I have to be mindful of and find a way to manage... Because it's not fair to impact others because I'm feeling a certain way... Hope your still hanging in there over the weekend
I was waiting to hear from u :), yes very very tempting over the weekend but again i did well, went to ppl who do not smoke and it went prettt good. I understand that there r things that ur really scared of doing as u wont enjoy it without a smoke but to be honest thats how we've set our mind to think, nothing is impossible, i wud rexommend to do things that u wud do while smoking or smoke after doing that so that u overcome the fear and are truely free and believe me u will enjoy it without a smoke, just be strong and determined, we'r doing really good and i want both of us to quit for good