Going a Bit Bat-House Crazy
24 hours in from quit time. I did't make my deadline. But have now been nico. free for 17 hours.
I've had much longer stretches of no ciggies - 17 hours is nothing compared. But I am now heading into the zone of being nicotine free for one of the longer periods of my life - as I have always relied on patches for past quits. Has this been part of the struggle? Giving up ciggies is perhaps the bit I find easier, but saying goodbye to nicotine....not so much.
Right now is a hard moment. So I am here. Just so I can type and distract my mind from the cravings. What I am doing? Why? ...the reason is because my breathing has become crazy and awful. All the time I spend feeling terrified of strokes, lung cancer, heart attacks. The key word there being "terrified" - the anxiety is probably the most debilitating part of my smoking. I lie in bed at night with my heart pounding at these thoughts. Full blown panic attacks. Then of course there's all the stuff I can't do and miss out on because I smoke.
I don't really understand this addiction. This idea that I want something so much that I know, with every fiber of my being, is killing me. Literally, emotionally, spiritually. This is really nasty stuff.
But hey, look at that, I've managed another 15 minutes. Thanks guys. I can't do this on my own.
well done CharlieChips, we all have been where you are and unfortunately or fortunately after time that will become more apparent, why we have to go through the real hard part.
I think the definition of addiction is dong something I don't want to do that's hurting me in some way.
I don't think deep down anyone wants to smoke as all it does is steal.
like what you said its stopped you from doing things you want too as it has done me, so really to keep doing something that makes us have panic attacks makes us sick to the point we cant do the things we like and we continue to do it makes me think something is not right.
so understanding the nicotine trap is key I think to stopping and staying stopped, for the most part it tricks us in to thinking we need it physically to keep us alive as it hits the brain in a place that makes us feel good masks pain emotionally and physically but mostly emotionally but like a lot of drugs the thing we think its fixing it makes worse, it tricks us to think it helps us with anxiety but it makes it worse, breathing etc..
they there is the habit of relating it to so many things after smoking for several years we can relate it to almost everything so that's hard to brake also and leaves us with time to replace and changing the way we do things, so we have to change our lifestyle also.
so lots of change happening inside our bodies and it can be very unpleasant to say the least, I spent the 1st 2 days in bed thought I was going to die , I didn't though, I am at day 39 today and its still pretty crappy it takes a long time for the body to learn to function without smokes nicotine and all the chemicals in Tabaco smoke , so yes its no fun stopping but I am sure what I am going through now is nothing compared to if I had been smoking the last 39 days.
so hang in there and know your not alone and someone will be here who understands within a few hrs, and if you need to ring lifeline tell them how your feeling, I have done that in the last 39 days and there's the quitline, but don't die in silence this thing wants up alone thinking we are the only ones, so reach out like you are doing and well done on that its not easy we all know that, but it wants us alone that's where it gets its power.
so we are not alone now we have each other here, so keep sharing how you feel don't take the 1st puff and one day at time less at the moment I am sure we need never smoke again.
so thank you for helping me today not take that 1st puff.
IC
Well done, you are so brave going cold turkey, I am sure that I couldn't, I am using Champix sometimes I think I am cheating, but I still have to fight the desire to smoke. The first few weeks are all about the nicotine, then comes the part I am having the most trouble with telling myself that I don't want a cigarette
It is fighting the memory, I still occasionally reach out for the packet and then laugh at myself for forgetting. I still carry my last opened packet of cigarettes in my handbag and when I change bags the cigarettes come with me, but I have not once been tempted to have a smoke. I remember to well those first few weeks, and hopefully I will never go back. Good luck on your journey take one day at a time and remember the day before it keeps me going
Hi Charliechips
Well done and Keep it up! You can do it!
You said
I don't really understand this addiction. This idea that I want something so much that I know, with every fiber of my being, is killing me. Literally, emotionally, spiritually
Its really addiction and we are addicts. I blame nicotine. I know that even if I quit smoking and take nicotine in different forms it screws up my digestion. It still makes my heart pump too frantically and it never lets me relax normally without it.
The cravings will get less and you will start to feel you have more power day by day.
Well done, Charlie Chips. It is only us the nicotine addicts who understand your journey. Yes we want the drug, getting rid of it is the easy part. Three days it is gone.
The rest of the journey is the very hardest part. That is a very individual journey. To break the mindset of smoking. I don' t think anyone has the answer, except ourselves. Break the patterns, I guess. They are hard -wired
and not easy to break, but they can be broken.
Good luck