Long road of breathlessness
I have been smoking for 38 years and are embarrassed to say so, I started smoking at the age of 11 copying my dad and thought it was cool at the time, 38 years later and this is the first time I have been willing to talk about it, I have realised it is seriously impacting my health, I have never really had ownership of my bad habit of smoking justifying it in my mind, "that there are much worst things to do in live than just smoking" & "I am not harming anyone", but for the first time in this slavery addition I know I need support and want to openly talk about it with others, as I know I have created a cycle, a pattern of justifying my need for smoking, I clearly know it is harming me with a host of health concerns, I have hid my smoking and have only smoke when I am on my own, isolating myself and have avoided many social situations and events so I am not found out, I have watched many people give up smoking over the years and never considered it for myself until the last 5 years when I have realised how shocking smoking really is, the breathlessness, the offensive smell, the body weakness, the coughing, the bad breath, the circulation issues and the avoiding of socialising. I am planning to stop smoking and realised that this "giving up" approach" hasn't and isn't working for me, that my mind set has kept on smoking for many years because I feared this "giving up" or loosing something as my mind puts it, I did believed I was "taking away" or "loosing something", for many years which kept me smoking, then I realised just resonantly the "reality" is with my smoking that I am abusing myself, harming myself with smoking and that I am "not giving up anything", I am gaining health and don't have to hide any more, and some how itseems frightening, this is were I am at with my smoking so far, I am committed to improving my health and to stop smoking and embrace life starting this Friday to improve my health and are committed to 3 smokes each day until then.
Pixy I was a smoker for 53 years and today is day 840 without a smoke.
My sincere advice to you and any others that read this is this:-
Regardless of what you use to aid you in your cessation of smoking, there is not one of them that will do it for you. They will help you but the thing that will make you succeed is your own strength of will that absolutely refuses all the urges to smoke. The willpower that stops you thinking that just one wont hurt, because it will.
You are the one that has to put in the hard yards, and don't let anyone tell you that they are easy, they're NOT! But they do get easier, and that's when you have to be extra careful because the sneaky nicotine receptors will pull all sorts of tricks to try and get you to smoke.
One of the worst feelings is the dream that you weakened and had a smoke, it feels so real and you feel so guilty about it. It's quite a relief to wake up and realise it was only a dream, but take it as a warning of what you would feel like if it did happen.
Good luck, be brave etc etc, believe me it's worth winning the battle.
Your honesty is admirable Pixy. I feel the same way. I have set my quit day for this Thursday and I'm nor sure how I'm going to handle it. I seems so hard to quit something that has been part of your life for so long, but hearing stories like Bill44 is inspiring, evidence that it can be done. Thanks for sharing you stories.
Wow trish73 thank you, you are so encouraging I quite Friday so here's to a clear fresh beginning and better health
Bill44 -inspired and encouraged, thank you for your story it has helped me to see and think differently