Closet smoker letting go
I started my quit smoking journey almost 4 years ago now and have had about half a dozen failed attempts at quitting. I first gave up when I got engaged because I did not want to be a smelly bride and I also wanted to save the money. I quit for about 6mths and once I was married slowly slipped back into old habits. Since then I have quit for a couple of months here and there. The main issue I have with quitting is not that I am a heavy smoker (i have only ever smoked in the afternoon after work and dinner max of 5 a day) unless I was drinking which would mean I would smoke more. I have always used smoking as my reward and time out for myself. I am really busy... I work full time and am studying a Masters part-time plus I have a family of three teenager kids who have jobs and sporting interests, plus I have a lovely husband who also needs some of my time. Smoking has always been my five minutes where everyone just leaves me alone. I am posting this today because my official quit date was on Monday but I had a major slip up yesterday after having a couple of wines. I felt so yuck and ashamed that I could be so weak that I think this time I might be able to see this through. I really want to quit because it is a secret part of my life that some of my family, work colleagues and associates don't know about. I am embarrassed to be a smoker. Here's to this being the last time I quit:) 2014 is the year to let go of old habits that no longer serve me!!!!
Hello miss j, reading your story made me feel sad when you mentioned feeling ashamed, you should be proud that you ever attempted to quit! My first attempt will be Monday and like yourself it's not a question of saving the pounds it's the truly unsociable feeling I get, and looking forward to a hopefully longer life, also the trying to hide the horrid smell on clothes etc with body sprays and gum. Keep trying as I will do if I fail and good luck, donna
Thank you Donna:) I wish you all the strength for you journey. I know it will be worth it! Can't wait to chat with you in twelve months time as two non-smoker:)
I know how you feel I too used a cigarette to just have my own 5 mins of peace. After being quit for over two weeks now I realise how much extra time I actually have to do other less damaging things for myself. I spend MY small amount of time a day posting and reading here, just sitting out side quietly (by myself!!), playing with the dog, watering and enjoying the garden etc, etc.
Soon you will find other things that give you this ME time without the horrible, smelly, damaging, expensive smoke!
Good luck, keep posting!