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I am happy. Really happy. No cigarette this morning, which has been my only one for a few days and I AM STILL ALIVE AND SANE. Except maybe for all of the capitalisation!
But really, as I lay in bed this morning contemplating getting up, I only had one concern, which was getting a paper finished today. Of course I wondered how I would go about not having that cigarette, but it turned out that I didn´t really care in the end.
I started smoking 14 years ago on my 18th birthday, just because I could. Apart from the few times that I had unsucessfully stopped smoking before, I have never lived adult life without the stress of running out of cigarettes, or hanging out for the next one. It´s like I have woken from a bizarre mania. To conclude the comment that I made on Jack´s post about Effexor and Champix - Like he mentioned, I am also ready to call my doctor if I start to feel odd, but it hasn´t been the case so far. Its funny - to help to combat the depression my doctor always suggested exercise, but on the rare ocassion where I felt that I could do it, I´d do it, and end up all wheezy and needing that mythical oxygen mask, and feeling more depressed than I did before. So - after The Sickness (that is the chest infection-unclogging thing from giving up smoking) passes, I am going to start swimming again.
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