I didn't write a post yesterday because I was feeling so sick, lost, confused - you know when you just have serious case of brain fog. I honestly can't remember what I did. I did however spend most of my time trying to be as productive as I could studying. I don't know how that's turning out because my brain is falling apart like a wet cake.
I wanted to write post every day as a goal and to give me something to look forward to, reflect back on and see the progress I'm making so... sorry me for not writing yesterday.
At the moment I feel like all of my emotions have dried up, I'm not enjoying anything - it's like being in a waking coma. I'm sure people can see the lost-sad-blank look in my eyes.
When I spoke to the Chemist about giving up smoke I disclosed how I was feeling about giving up and being well aware that these feelings of emptiness would creep in and he just reassure me that in time they would pass.
Well to be completely honest these feelings were already present and if smoking wasn't making any difference why continue. Over the last 6 months I've been getting rid of a lot of things out of my life not just smokes. Clothes, shoes, books ornaments and other random items - it felt so good just throwing things out aimlessly. I even started offering to help other people with trowing away their things. But as you know how the story goes those feeling of letting go and felling free didn't last long either.
For me it's not about trying to save money or even trying to improve my physical health - or though both of those things will be great and are valid reasons.
For me it's more so about finding me again and once I have found me holding on an not letting go...
This post goes out to @Katiegirl and a big thank you to those special few to whom my post's have reached, it makes me feel a little more connected. Jame