Stories & experiences

Kirk88
7
Stories
23/08/2019
Joined

I Never wanted to quit

Posted in Quit experiences 23 Aug 2019
8 Comments

5 days! I've gone 5 days without a smoke, but I'm not excited I don't feel proud and honestly I don't know why I even bothered?

Fact1. My health was never a driving force to quit

Fact2. I couldn't afford it anymore

I made myself a promise that after a fortnight I would treat myself to a shopping spree to celebrate with some new clothes- not going to happen coz my car broke down and now I can't afford to reward myself.

I was late and believed I was pregnant- apparently I was wrong so I'm not doing the right thing for my unborn baby (coz it doesn't exist).

I have 3 kids and when life gets to real I go out for a smoke to get away, without smokes I can't get away and if I do step outside it's make the urge 1000 worse.

My partner refuses to quit and keeps dragging his smelly butt inside and plonking his smokes RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!

I've never felt like as bad of mum as I do now, I can't keep my temper or emotions in check I'm sleep deprived from withdrawals and find it hard to get up in the mornings to get my kids to their activities etc. yeah ok when I was smoking I'd disappear for 5 mins every few hours but atleast I didn't constantly let my kids down.

What to do when all your reasons/ motivations to quit get taken away?

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8 Comments

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  • Robn August 23, 2019 | 22:24
    Hi Kirk88, don’t be so hard on yourself....you may not feel like it is worth doing...so ask yourself why you wanted to try to quit. If your reason to quit is because you can’t afford it.....that should be motivation enough. Write down how much it costs you to smoke each week...then know that that money could be savings in the bank, or used to treat yourself and your children every now and then. Next time your car breaks down you will have the money to get it fixed straight away. How you think about your quit is very important...if you want it and feel happy about doing it, then the quit journey is so much easier. You should feel very proud that you have gone 5 days because that is a fantastic effort. Use the time that you used to smoke in a productive way...play a game with your children, take them to the park and kick a ball with them. When you feel stressed just go outside and deep breathe until you calm yourself. Smoking actually does not relax you, it creates anxiety, we all just use that as a way to justify smoking. You have to really want to quit. The benefits are amazing, you will be here to see your children grow up and have families of their own, you will have more money to lead a better life with, your self esteem will go through the roof instead of feeling the shame that all smokers feel. Really think it through and ask yourself do you want a better life for yourself, do you want to set a good example for your children. We all get upset and angry at times...think about how you handle those times that is what is important. Or do you want to continue on as a smoker? Either way it is up to you and you can do it, just one day at a time. If you want it...embrace it...be happy about it and before long you won’t have to try to feel happy about it, you just will.
  • Happiness August 24, 2019 | 0:11
    Congratulations Kirk88. You have achieved what some people have been striving to achieve for years! Believe that you can do this and that it is a blessing. Read and learn from past posts about nicotine and you and how you are already past the worst of it. If you have gone cold turkey, the nicotine addiction is pretty much done with, it is the acceptance of our new lives as a non-smoker which keeps us anxious. Once you learn how smoking is an addiction that we made excuses for because we believed ourselves too weak to break away from it, you start to accept the truths, and realize that you are missing nothing, and doing yourself an immense favour.

    This is the mindset that you want to achieve so that you can let go of the past and move forward into your new life. The voids felt are disconcerting, but are actually a symbol of freedom. Take the time to take a deep breath, smell the roses, and taste better things in life. Treat yourself to smaller rewards until you can save for the bigger reward which you deserve. Buy your favourite coffee and take 5 for yourself and reflect on the good things in life. If things are not so great, take the time to figure out how to make things better. Continuing to smoke is not the answer to anything. Being a good example to your children or better health may be rewards that you will not see but they are there. A new pair of earrings, or nail polish might be little incentives to give you a boost of "feeling good" and boost your confidence and drive. Looking good, feeling good and doing good. Positive attitude makes things easier and you can slough off these doldrums and make inroads to a better life.

    You are doing great Kirk88, stick with it and you will not be disappointed.

  • softly40, Mid North Coast August 24, 2019 | 8:07
    Ok Kirk88 I too never gave up for health reasons, but I did give up for longer than 5 days. Why did I really need to give up? two of the reasons were money like you, the other was Society attitudes change towards smokers, I did not like the disparaging remarks and the constant moving away from me.

    Parents have a lot to contend with with in bringing up their children and trying to achieve something, which you think is impossible, but its not. Ok you had a car problem, if you had that 5 days over again you would have been short of money to help fix the car. If you need to get away for a breather, do just that, go outside or in another room, and deep breath, keep doing this until your emotion has abated, most important, go back with a calm mind and a happy disposition for your children, this will eventually pass, and you will become a better friend to yourself as well as your family.

    So your husband smokes, don't ignore it just remind him that you are trying to give up, without any recrimination for him, and pick up the packet, and place them somewhere else, if he offers you one, you will know then that the reason he doesn't want to help you is that he doesn't want you to succeed.

    1. Open up another bank account and start putting $10 into it, this will be your reward money. You might eventually have a few bank accounts, if you know how to transfer the money online.

    2. Learn how to really deep breath relax and meditate, for the amount of time that it would take for you to smoke that cigarette, there are plenty of meditation videos online.

    I think I can tell you have determination in there somewhere, and you have completed the most important part of it now, so please re-think your strategies, and continue. You can and will do it, in the meantime give yourself a pat on the back for completing 5 days you deserve it.



































































































































































































































































































    for just the amount of time that would take to smoke that cigarette.
  • Kirk88 August 24, 2019 | 9:43
    Thank you all for jumping in to keep me on track. I know a shopping spree might have sounded a bit silly to some but I have not been able to afford to buy myself a single item of clothing in over 4 years because my smoke addiction was always more important so the idea the I would be able to own clothes that reflect the person I am striving to be was very exciting to me. I still intend to reward myself with a new wardrobe but I have re assessed the way I will achieve this. I will buy myself 1 new clothing item a fortnight for the first year to celebrate each little success and continue to give me something to look forward to.
    My oldest son is exceptionally athletic and has recently made it to the state championships in athletics and his football team has made the finals. When he woke up this morning I looked at him and realised that when I smoke I am compromising his health with 2nd and 3rd hand smoke and therefore I was sabotaging his athletic and sporting future and while I may be the cranky mum right now I am definitely not the selfish mum.
    I've had my moment of weakness but I can and WILL keep going. ❤️ Much love to you all. I have your backs the way you had mine.
  • Kirk88 August 24, 2019 | 9:45
    Thank you all for jumping in to keep me on track. I know a shopping spree might have sounded a bit silly to some but I have not been able to afford to buy myself a single item of clothing in over 4 years because my smoke addiction was always more important so the idea the I would be able to own clothes that reflect the person I am striving to be was very exciting to me. I still intend to reward myself with a new wardrobe but I have re assessed the way I will achieve this. I will buy myself 1 new clothing item a fortnight for the first year to celebrate each little success and continue to give me something to look forward to.
    My oldest son is exceptionally athletic and has recently made it to the state championships in athletics and his football team has made the finals. When he woke up this morning I looked at him and realised that when I smoke I am compromising his health with 2nd and 3rd hand smoke and therefore I was sabotaging his athletic and sporting future and while I may be the cranky mum right now I am definitely not the selfish mum.
    I've had my moment of weakness but I can and WILL keep going. ❤️ Much love to you all. I have your backs the way you had mine.
  • Nuts August 24, 2019 | 10:08
    When we say ' I dont want to quit ' , we are really saying i cant do it, I am scared of failing. So on and so on . Oh woe is me. I told myself that many times. All lies. You can quit if you are serious about it. Its mind over matter. The cravings dont last long. Be positive and admit to yourself that you do want to quit and it will become so much easier. It is worth it
  • DAB57 August 25, 2019 | 17:34
    You will get there Kirk88. The day will come when you will look back at this and say, I didn't realise it would be so easy. Trust me I know, today I am 14 months and 3 days quit. And I do look back and say those very words. I have actually put the money I spent on the addiction towards great health care plan. I could not afford that before. So your wardrobe will grow and you will gain many more benefits from your quit. Including your long term health and your children's health and benefits. Well done.
  • Geo August 28, 2019 | 6:44
    smoking will change nothing in your life with the exception of: your children will grow up healthier ( 2 hand smoke hazards ) and they will also learn what a strong woman you are. Your mental health will improve after 1 year due to the nicotine control it now has. Your physical health has already improved and will continue for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, not to mention softer skin, whiter teeth, less chance of gum disease, by now your blood pressure has dropped, so your arteries are not going to harden as badly. The list is endless with health, keep positive, stay strong, its worth it. More time, more friends, more room in your life for things other than ash trays, lighters, places to smoke.
    Oh I almost forgot, your going to have money in your pocket to do as YOU wish, not as the NICOTINE demon wishes. ( or your PARTNER ) and you should not spend a dime on them, unless its for NRT products to help them.
    My mind is clearer now after 226 days, and I feel SO SO MUCH BETTER, and look forward to the day when I my family does not remember I smoked. My physical addiction was difficult and I lived through that, and the mental will continue as long as I live, but... my children will not grow seeing that something that is bad, I unknowing taught them was OK. Stay strong, your worth it

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